Faux Report

U.N. Worker In Contact With Refugees Contracts Unknown Skin Disease

skin

AUGUSTA, Maine –¬†

A United Nations employee who worked on the intake of refugees fleeing to the United States seeking asylum has contracted a serious and as-yet-unknown skin condition that is causing panic among government workers.

According to doctors, Mark Shawl, who has worked for the U.N. for over 20 years, came in contact with an infected Syrian refugee and contracted a serious and potentially contagious skin condition.

“Mr Shawl’s skin has formed extreme and vile callouses over most of his body, but especially on his hands,” said Dr. Emmett Brown of the Maine State General Hospital in Augusta. “At this point were are not able to pinpoint exactly what is causing the disorder, but we are taking measures to ensure that this condition does not spread further.”

Dr. Brown says that Mr. Shawl’s fingers are getting the worst of it, and one has become so hard and brittle that it has begun to fall off.

“So far, Mr. Shawl is the only one this heavily infected by whatever is causing the issue,” said Dr. Brown. “Unfortunately, he is not the only one entirely. Several other people have since come into our location with similar issues. We are working jointly with the US Department of Health to discover the cause.”

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