Symphony

Encore of Revival: America, October 2, 2017

Eagles are attacking drones in Australia. So far, North American eagles don't seem interested... so far.

Several ratings are up: presidential polls, the Dow Jones, Hannity at 9 P.M., and an opposition senator in Alabama. NFL ratings, however, seem to be in severe decline. According to recent stats, the league's popularity fell by about half in the general public, but by more than half among Trump supporters.

The "kneeling players" don't seem to understand what they have gotten themselves into. They are not "bad" people. NFL dissidents do not generally begrudge the kneeling players as much as they begrudge the league. The nation is lucky that the US does not have a current formal declaration of war, lest protesting the US on foreign soil, namely Britain, be a "treasonous" offense. The players probably do not know that they are protesting the entire nation by not standing during a national anthem, nor about the legal meaning of protesting a nation's flag while in another nation.

Walter Williams says that the problem goes back to education. While he focuses on Blacks having been, more or less, "nannied" too much, education around the country has declined. Racism should be discussed. Most Whites agree. Whether this person or that person said, "Hands up, don't shoot," is a technical question of fact, not any view of the importance of the ongoing problem of racism. But, the American public has not been educated to know the difference. For more and more Americans, to deny "hands up don't shoot" in a specific situation means to deny that there is any issue of racism at all. Nothing could be farther from the truth. But, many people just don't know the difference. That is a failure in public education.

The NFL players should be educated about the meaning of their actions. They are genuinely asking for something good. Doing it in the wrong way was not their intent, but it was the wrong way. The responsibility belongs to the NFL. But, the league has allowed itself to get too involved in politics and not done enough to prevent controversy driven by confusion, the kneeling players being only the latest in a long slew of grievances with their viewer base.

There is opportunity for deep change in America, especially with the NFL. The league could get back to football and stop playing "politics". The players could be given a microphone and offered an alternate way to express their legitimate concerns. The country could clarify the truth about progress and "adaptive infections" where racism is concerned. Maybe the crisis in the NFL will initiate much needed conversation in America about many things, including thankfulness for a nation where those discussions can be held honestly. Whether the league chooses to save itself, however, is another question altogether.

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Faux Report

‘White Entertainment Television’ To Be Added To DirecTV Lineup In December

WET

LAKEVIEW, Delaware –

The founder of the White Christians of America, Richard S. Jennings, announced earlier this week that the group, which promotes “a purely wholesome, caucasian, and Christian existence” will launch a television network via DirecTV in December. The network, White Entertainment Television, or ‘WET’ is to air “clean, Christian, heterosexual, white entertainment.”

“It is our undying mission to compete with the less-than-appropriate trash shown on television today which is obviously confusing our pure, innocent caucasian children,” said Jennings. “We look forward to this endeavor, and together with DirecTV, we have no doubt that our mission will be successful.”

President and CEO of DirecTv, Michael Brown, said that the addition of the network, which will provide programming featuring only those of the white race and Christian religion, is one that shows what DirecTV, now owned by AT&T, is all about.

“We are all about equal opportunity, we offer programming from BET (Black Entertainment Television), so we do not feel that this is any different. Obviously, those who do not want to watch it don’t have to. We simply believe it is only fair to offer everyone of different races and beliefs something that interest them,” said Brown.

While many believe it is only fair, and ironically, an equal opportunity, there are also those who feel this is a step backwards in the ever evolving progression of racial relations in the United States, especially in the heat of a very race-driven political landscape.

 

DirecTV subscribers can look for the channel to be added to all package lineups on December 20th.

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Faux Report

Black Lives Matter Group Sued For Being Racist, Not Allowing White Members

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

A group of angry white people have filed a motion in the Supreme Court to have the Black Lives Matter movement disbanded, labelling them a hate group who stops white members from joining. The group of individuals, who at this point have not released their names, are also suing the Black Lives Matter group for an undisclosed sum.

“We are tired of being marginalized and held back because of the color of our skin,” read a statement released from the group of white, Christian men. “We wanted to help and to spread the word of the Black Lives Matter movement, but they have held us back from joining at every cost. They are not about love. They are about hate and discrimination.”

A Supreme Court judge will hear the full case on Tuesday, and is expected to determine the merits.

A formal statement from the Black Lives Matter group was received too late to include in this publishing.

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Faux Report

Klan Says ‘Guns Don’t Kill People, Black People Kill People’

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FORTH WORTH, Texas – 

Christoper Miller, the leader of the Fort Worth Ku Klux Klan chapter, has ignited a wave of anger amongst the public after saying that “guns were not the problem, black people with guns [are],” referring to the Dallas, Texas shooting that killed five white police officers.

The head of the racist group cautioned to a crowd of people outside of a Fort Worth courthouse that “history will repeat itself again and again, as long as black people are allowed to own guns.” Miller was surrounded and protected by a large percentage of the Forth Worth police department.

“There is no gun problem in America,” he told the small group of supporters and bystanders. “Guns don’t kill people, black people kill people. The problem is whose hands you put the guns in. Guns are harmless by themselves, but black people are a menace to society, it’s a fact. Give them a gun, and that nigger will be twice as more likely to kill someone.”

The rally was dispersed shortly after by anxious police who feared a riot from nearby anti-KKK protestors.

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Faux Report

Ku Klux Klan Makes Formal Endorsement For Donald Trump Campaign

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HUNTSVILLE, Alabama –

The Ku Klux Klan, America’s favorite hate group, has formally announced their endorsement for Donald Trump as he runs for president of the United States.

“He says what we are all feeling in our hearts and in our heads,” said Klan leader Joe Smith of the Huntsville chapter. “He’s a man who is ready to speak up and fix this country. He wants to build a wall to keep the spics out, and if we can have our way, we’ll get the niggers and the Jews out, too. Put ’em all behind a wall. Trump is the kind of man who can get that done, and we respect that.”

Normally not vocal about their candidate of choice, this is the first time in several decades that the group has spoken out in favor of one particular candidate during a presidential race.

“In 2008, we were adimant on getting anyone into the White House except for Obama, but we failed in our mission,” said Smith. “We didn’t think that that White House should be tarnished by being filled with a dirty black man from Kenya. This time, we will double our efforts in making sure that Trump is elected over anyone else – especially Hillary Clinton.”

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Faux Report

Obama’s White House Thanksgiving Dinner Reportedly Only Allowed Black Guests, Only White Servers

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

According to reports from the White House, the president’s annual Thanksgiving dinner was serviced entirely but white waiters and waitresses, and invitations were sent only to African-Americans, calling some to cry reverse racism.

“I don’t see the problem here,” said President Obama. “All the wait staff were paid incredible wages. They all got to take home the leftovers. All the guests paid to be here, with all the money going to charity. No one seemed hurt by the fact that it was all my black homies at the dinner being served by a bunch of crackers, lease of all the whiteys themselves.”

Republicans who are critical of Obama say that having such a sordid event in the White House only seemed to further the President’s bad name.

“If he had included a couple Mexicans or something at the dinner, then it might not have been so obvious and so brash,” said white Republican Jon Smith. “But, making the dinner an exclusively black affair and then forcing white people to slave away like that? It’s disgusting.”

For his part, Obama said that it really wasn’t done on purpose, it’s just that white people were the only one cleared to be allowed to work in the White House.

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Faux Report

Donald Trump Makes Decision To Leave Republican Party, Run Under Nazi Party

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Donald Trump has reportedly made a switch of parties, but it’s something that most of his supporters say they didn’t see coming: the billionaire mogul has left the Republican party in favor of the New Nazi Party.

“Heil Hitler,” said Trump, greeting a slew of guests and supporters at a rally on Saturday evening with a one-handed salute. “After careful consideration, I have decided that a better party for me would be the Nazi party, and plan to remove myself from the running on the Republican ticket in favor of this new, slightly less inclusive party.”

Trump says that the Republicans seem to have “lost their way” over time, and too many Mexicans, illegals, and even African Americans are ruining the GOP.

“When I was a boy, a Mexican was sight to be afraid of, and a black guy on the street meant trouble,” said Trump. “The republicans, they seem to have forgotten what it means to be a part of the GOP – strict regulation and hating anyone not rich, white, and racist. The New Nazi Party is more my style – less trusting of new ways, and far less trusting of illegals. It’s the way things should be.”

Trump’s supporters say that they really don’t care what party he runs under, because he “speaks his mind,” so idiots that appreciate his candor plan to continue their support.

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Symphony

November 10, 2015

Israel remembers, Germany, 1938; viz modern Antisemitism (JP)

Obamnesty ‘could’ be heard by SCOTUS, possibly implemented summer 2016 (POLITICO)

2nd LA missile muscle flex: Did US Navy plan social reaction? (WP) (LA Times)

U. of Missouri prez resigns, slow response to racism, “stop yelling at each other and start listening…” (AP)

Music censored: China may have just made it harder for its citizens to ever get Spotify or Apple Music (QZ)

   · · · →

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Faux Report

STUDY: U.S. Now More Racist Against Blacks than China

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to a new study by the NAACP, China is no longer the most racist country when it comes to discrimination against black people. Due to the high-profile cases of Mike Brown and Eric Garner, which sparked protests across the country, that distinction now belongs to the United States.

“This is great news for the Chinese nation,” said Vice Foreign Minister Xu Jing at a press conference on Friday. “We are no longer the most overtly racist people in the world. Not through any effort of our own, but thanks to the rising tide of police brutality in America.”

“Rest assured black people, the main target of our political and legal violence will always be the Chinese themselves.”

Though China has been recognized as the country most racist against blacks for decades, the latest study shows that while individual Chinese might harbor regressive views, the political and legal systems at large are mostly colorblind.

“Although Chinese people will often feel a black person’s hair or assume they sell drugs, very few pose a physical threat,” said East China Normal University professor Liu Yuanping. “Certainly no black person has been murdered by the police for selling untaxed cigarettes.”

China hopes that its recent downgrade in racism will encourage more African-Americans to travel to and work in China.

“We welcome our dark-skinned friends from the U.S.,” said Xu. “Come see for yourself that somehow we are not as racist as people from your own country.”

Xu vowed that his ministry would work with the Ministry of Public Security and local law enforcement bureaus to ensure the safety of any black travelers.

“Though China still is a very racist place,” he said, “Rest assured black people, the main target of our political and legal violence will always be the Chinese themselves.”

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Expat Decides Partly Overheard Chinese Conversation “Probably Racist”

BEIJING — While traveling on the Line 10 subway after finishing his tutoring work Monday evening, Beijing-based Jake Gryczynski spent approximately 35 seconds attempting to decipher a loud conversation between two middle-aged Chinese women before deciding that what they were saying was “probably racist.”

The 37-year-old Idaho native, who has yet to learn more than rudimentary Chinese despite working in China for 15 years, went so far as to remove one iPod earphone and tilt his head slightly in an attempt to better distinguish individual syllables from the stream of idiomatic Mandarin that, he concluded with complete confidence, was more than likely a scathing and expletive-ridden diatribe against him and the entire Western world.

“Sure, my Chinese is pretty basic, but I picked out the words, ‘America,’ and ‘not good,’” he said. “It doesn’t take Noam Chomsky to figure out they were laying into American and white European culture.”

“It doesn’t take Noam Chomsky to figure out they were laying into American and white European culture.”

“The thing about Chinese people,” Gryczynski continued, “is they think you don’t know exactly what they’re talking about. They think you’re just an ignorant schmo who will blithely sit there while they systematically undermine your culture and spit on your heritage.”

Gryczynski went on to explain that he “didn’t want to cause a scene,” so he merely glared at the two women and flipped them off while exiting the carriage, expressing satisfaction that “the looks on their faces told me they got the message.”

“They’re gonna think twice before deriding the noble tradition of Western democracy again, or calling me a pasty turd, as I’m certain they were doing on that occasion,” he said.

Chinese passengers on the same train, however, expressed puzzlement at Gryczynski’s behavior.

“I thought he had mental problems,” said commuter Wendy Tang, who was reportedly sitting opposite Gryczynski during his brief journey. “He kept clearing his throat loudly and eyed everyone in the carriage like we were going to kill him.”

“The worst thing was when he gave the finger to those two nice ladies who were worried that Americans couldn’t make a good living in China,” said Tang. “I guess they noticed that he hadn’t showered in a while.”

In related news, a two foreigners were assaulted in Sanlitun over the weekend when a Chinese clubgoer thought he made out the words “fuck” and “China” in a conversation between two expats.

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