Faux Report

As Summer Nears, Children Ready To Play Hottest New Swimming Game, ‘Marco Rubio’

marco rubio

MIAMI, Florida – 

For years, a popular swimming game for children – or adults pretending to be children – has always been Marco Polo, where one child closes his eyes and yells out “Marco!” while other children scream “Polo!” in return. This year, though, a group of children in Miami have upped the game, swapping out Marco Polo for Marco Rubio.

“The game basically plays the same as Marco Polo always did, except now we scream back ‘Rubio!'” said Freddy Johnson, 9. “I don’t really know anything about politics, but my dad says that Marco Rubio is a huge joke, and that all he does is play games, so this is a fun way to include him in our playtime!”

Many parents are happy that their children are taking to the new, family-friendly game.

“After the huge fiasco that my family had trying to play Trump-Twister, this is so much easier,” said Mary Lambert, 43, and mother of 3 small boys. “With that game, you have to spin the wheel and whatever random lie or racial epithet pops up, that’s where you have to put your hand or feet. There are so many racist remarks, we all fell down into one giant pile almost right away. ‘Left hand…Mexicans are dirty! Ugh. Horrible game.”

Standard
Election

Opine: 2016 New Hampshire Debate

I normally don’t write about individual debates. Some things happened in New Hapmshire, however, which I thought were prophetic, other things telling.

When the candidates came out, Carson and Trump had difficulty hearing the media over the shouts of the crowd, even though the media kept calling them. Even Kasich had trouble. This strange leapfrog of candidates back and forth left Carson and Trump standing together while the other candidates passed by.

I thought many things in the scene seemed prophetic.

I have missed stage instructions myself. So, I understand exactly how this can happen, even with good planning.

continue reading

Standard
Symphony

October 6, 2015

Hillary gets punchy

Trump—Rubio’s new water boy

Sheriff in Roseberg, OR to Biden: No gun control, won’t enforce, locals support him

SYRIA—Now, Russian Special Forces

Snowden turns himself in, no answer

Carly—the beltway fav

@Jack is back @Twitter!

Cured: How traditional Chinese medicine finally won its Nobel Prize  · · · →

continue reading
Standard
Symphony

June 24, 2015

Obama hosts anti-Israel guests. Pentagon’s new space spy, opens in 6 months. Google Chrome spies via mic. Pentagon: Journalists legitimate targets. US military living in the past—building light forces? Rubio, the last vote for ObamatradeTop 10 non-US universities. Hoverboard: Lexus video teases a ‘real’ magnetic hoverboard  · · · →

continue reading
Standard
Symphony

Tempo: April 22, 2015

Walker could win via anti-amnesty. Rubio meant what he said on amnesty. Police are getting nannied. Hillary-bash book to be released, contains old information, topic: foreign donations. First: Norway shuts off FM radio, digital costs less. Study: too many vitamins cause cancer, nothing on placebo; solution: centralized vitamins for children. Future: Why You Need to Eliminate All of Your Company’s Managers  · · · →

continue reading
Standard