Faux Report

New ‘Shit On The America Flag Challenge’ Takes Form In Support Of Colin Kaepernick and Free Speech





Young black Americans are apparently taking a stand and wiping their asses with the American flag, all in support of Colin Kaepernick and his sit-in during the National Anthem, and to make notice of their rights to free speech.

“I love America, there’s nothing wrong here at all as far as my life is concerned,” said Shelby McIntire, an ass-wiping, flag hater. “Problem is, fuck the flag, and fuck the national anthem. I don’t care about symbols, I care about action, and there’s none happening for young niggas like me. So, here’s your flag, here’s my shit, and now the two can meet.”

The act of flag desecration is protected free speech, but McIntire has had to go into hiding thanks to internet trolls that revealed her address on popular website Reddit.

“I’m not scared for me, but I don’t want them to hurt my family over this,” said McIntire. “It will all blow over, though. And I can go back to wiping my ass with toilet paper.”


October 20, 2015

Cruz, the defender of the Internet from daily attacks in Congress

…“This administration views the Internet as a threat.”

W on Cruz: “I just don’t like that guy,”

Germans hatin’ on Islam, refugees

US nat’l registry of drones

Foot-Mouth: Theaters are boycotting Netflix’s first feature film, which is great for Netflix  · · · →

continue reading

Tempo: April 29. 2015

Hillary emails suggest she was not part of Benghazi mess. GMO law upheld in Vermont. Better or worse, TPP (Pacific trade) pushes forward. French Le Pen: Globalization is barbarous, re: sister Atlantic trade, TTIP. Wal-Mart China’s bff. China has more vineyards than France62-year-old man baked alive at Bumble Bee (tuna), company disputes fines. Stock shock: Twitter loses cash. Posse comitatus Nat’ Guard in Baltimore, police threw a rock, Orioles closed to the public, play for empty stadium, Orioles’ chief defends peaceful protests. God answers prayer: Hamas Chief vetoed Hamas attack. Family: See Dad’s Response to Principal Who Wrote Him This Note About His Children’s ‘Unexcused Absences’.  · · · →

continue reading